One of the toughest things I have gone through coaching



In one of my previous post, I talked about how you need to be bought into what the head football wants to do. You need to be bought into the culture, weightlifting, team building, and everything else in order for you to grow as a coach, to get better, and to see how that head coach does things so when you are lucky enough to be a head coach one day you can do some of these things. When I went from my high school to Charleston and started to coach football there, I was bought into what the new hired head coach wanted to do. The kind of things and how he coached was similar to how my head coach was, who I played for all 4 years and helped coach for 3 seasons.

During the summer and beginning of the season in 2015 at Charleston, me and the new head coach got along, but I was being a brat about my coaching spot, as I stated in a previous post as well. I thought after help coach for 3 years before joining his staff, I thought I should have had a bigger role and be able to do more. I was bought into what he wanted, but I thought he should of gave me more. So, there were times we may have spoke during a practice or before or even after one. That was all on me, and it was actually something I needed to do believe it or not. One early morning, before we had a practice, I got to the field house a little early that day, about 5 or 5:15 in the morning. To this day, I don’t know what caused me to get to the field house so early. The head coach was already there, he lived about an hour away from the school so he had been up for much longer than me. So, I walked into the office and it was just me and him until about 6 or so when other coaches would start showing up. We talked about things that were not working so far in practice on offense of defense. We talked about depth charts, and normal stuff that coaches talk about.

This was weird to me since I was new and I wasn’t a top varsity coach for him yet. He asked my opinion on certain things, and then started to ask me questions. About my goals in the coaching world and then how would I handle this situation or this one (these are still conversations we have to this day almost 3 years later). When it was almost 6 in the morning, he then asked me if I knew why he didn’t give me a huge role yet. He told me his job is to give the crap job first, to see if I can be trusted, and how hard I’m actually willing to work and learn. He wanted to make sure that I can be a head coach one day and for him to be able to say that he pushed me hard enough to get to that spot, and be able to say that he was able to teach me things in life and in coaching. He could tell I wanted to do more, I just had to show it and prove myself to him and the other coaches who have been coaching longer than me. And he didn’t want me to see that things will just be handed to me in life. This started a new-found friendship that we have to this day.


I know some coaches will read that and say, “well that’s pretty obvious stuff”, but I can’t express how immature I was at that time. It is embarrassing to say, but it’s the truth. And, if I didn’t act that way, and just went through the motions, I don’t think me and the head coach would have the friendship we have now and the working relationship that we had for a season and a half. The season was a rough one for the program. We went 0-9 at the varsity level. There was a lot that needed to change and be fixed. He was taking over a program that went 1-8 the previous two years before. But also, the head coach that was before him, was there for 15 seasons and was a hometown guy. To try and change everything that had been in place for 15 seasons is not easy. Especially when he didn’t have the full support of the community, because he wasn’t a hometown guy and those people didn’t want to see the previous head coach be let go. And also makes it hard when you drive an hour to practice and an hour back home.

After his first season, you could slowly start to see the change that he was trying to do, even if it was just baby steps. The kids where getting the offense better than the previous season, they were getting stronger in the weight room, and where being held more accountable for their actions. He had different athletes be in charge of their own teams with about 10 athletes on each team and had to get them to everything so we all could get better. I know a lot of coaches don’t put too much look into if you win 7 on 7, but that summer we went to a few of them and played actual good competition. We competed and the kids were having fun, which is something that didn’t happen the year before. So, it was nice to see that happening and to see the kids getting tougher. We could see us being able to compete for the playoffs, which would of be great from going 0-9 the year before.

My friendship and working relationship and grown a lot with the head coach during the offseason. I was coaching basketball and track during those times, but anytime I could make it to a chalk talk or weightlifting session, I made sure I was there. He even would help me with different basketball ideas, from his days as a basketball coach. During the summer, I would always get to the field early and it would just be us talking and helping him game plan. Or just trying to come up with different ideas. After practice it would be the same thing, and there were a lot of times he would call me on his way home because he thought about something, or we wanted my advice, or again how I would handle this certain situation.  But, looking back on it, I could tell that he was just a little bit different during the summer than he was during the winter. The way he talked, or the way he would go about things was just different, I just didn’t realize it at the time.


It was the day before the first official practice in 2016, I got a phone call from one of the assistant coaches. He asked me if I was sitting down, and if I wasn’t to grab a chair. He told me that the head coach was going to resign. I dropped the phone out of my hand. All of the assistant coaches were going to meet that night to figure out what to do if this was going to happen. One coach on staff coached with him back in the early 2000’s and was close with him as well. They had talked 2 days before and that’s when he said he was thinking about resigning, but would make it for sure the next day. Well, when he didn’t hear anything, he knew that we all needed to get together just incase he actually resigns. The principal even met with us and we had to figure out who would be the interim head coach, who was going to coach each position, and who was going to call offense and defense. I was in total shock during the meeting, and I kept my phone in my hand all night to see what would happen next.

The next morning, I got to the field house right at 5. The head coaches truck was there, I walked into the office and he was on the computer, like he usually was. So, in my mind I thought, thank god, he isn’t leaving. I walked and we had our hello like always, he asked me if I had heard. I then asked if he was leaving, and he was silent for a minute, then said yes. Now, I will not go about what was talked about next, we had a private conversation that I will never tell anyone else, that moment was between me and him. But, it was a conversation that I needed to hear. The other coaches showed up and he had a quick meeting with us to say how he was resigning for personal reasons and that we didn’t need to know everything. He then gathered all the players to say his goodbyes. He left his keys on the desk, and he took off to head back home.

So, to start the season the defensive coordinator was made the head coach, and I was made offensive coordinator, while the head coach would call the defense. We went through that practice like he had done all summer with no changes. We all met after the practice to discuss what changes he wanted to make. We decided that he was going to make more changes on the defensive side to more of what he wanted, but we would keep the offense the same. We ran a pro style offense, the only change made was the passing, which I posted in a previous post. He said the following year he would want to change to a spread team, but it made more sense to keep the offense the same with our first game only a little over 2 weeks away. He also changed how weight lifting would go, drills, and other things of course.

As you could imagine, for me, that this was a tough thing for mentally. The head coach had to leave, I got told I would be calling offense for varsity, which was going to be my first time, and I was all defense the year before and would be that season. The first two days, I was still in more shock, and was incredibly busy game planning with offense.


The third day of practice, that’s when the shock wore off, and everything started to sink in. The head coach, who I bought into, had to leave, my friend who I was looking forward to coach with that season, had to leave, the stuff I was bought into was changing with someone new taking over. After practice that morning, I decided to go to the gym to get my mind off of everything. While I was there, I had contemplated leaving myself. With all those thoughts going through my head was very mentally draining. That evening, the old head coached called me, and once I talked to him, I didn’t have those thoughts anymore.

He called me to see how practices where going, how I was doing in my new role, and how he would do anything he could to help me get better. Just from speaking to him, he sounded like he was back to his normal self. That whole season, we talked before our games, so he could help me with different game plans or situations. We would talk about what the next team was going to do since he was familiar with the teams, and he still wanted to help me learn to be a head coach one day. We would still have those conversations about how I would handle this situation or this situation if I was in charge.

That season we ended up going 3-6, we started 2-0, but didn’t win again until week 8, when the kids just muscled out a win. And believe it or not, give a lot of credit to him even though he wasn’t there to call anything. The reason why was because those kids had the strength from his weightlifting program, I was still running his offense and still using his terminology, and for the first couple of weeks, we were still doing some of his drills.

Now, this isn’t me trying to talk bad about him what so ever. He needed to resign for personal reasons, and I never held anything against him, or even got mad at him for it. Some people in this town did, and some on staff did as well. What some people don’t realize is, sometimes, other things do come before football. I know some might read that and say otherwise, but if something else in your life is going on, or something isn’t right with yourself, it might be better to walk away from the game just for a little bit.

He is still a close friend, and he still do this day tries to help me with anything. He introduced me to other coaches, and different programs to try and help me if I left Charleston. Or just do see a different way to do things. In a weird way, him resigning was a way to help me. It had me learn on the fly to be an offensive coordinator, which was one of the things on my check list to accomplish. And put me in that spot to start to really see how I would be a head one day, if I’m lucky enough.

It was one of the hardest things to go through mentally for me in my coaching life. But, it only has given the opportunity to hopefully on to bigger and better things.

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